I bring this little game up during this time of year as a reminder that sometimes, when getting together with family members and other people that feel like all they want to do is push you off balance, that can be a very powerful answer to their perceived  aggression — to yield.

Your new counter attack to their loud, snarky, back-biting, and other unbecoming yang behaviors and expressions is to yield…and allow them to toss emotional grenades in all directions without so much as a twitch back in their direction…

…and as sure as ever, the one who yields best wins. The victory is to create the silence of one hand clapping – no opposition, the fight where there is no fight… now that’s freedom — to be consistently grounded no matter what is thrown your way.

Happy Holidays.

The post The Power of Yielding During Holiday Gatherings appeared first on Karen Rauch Carter.

Living with these push-me-pull-you feelings is exhausting. Part of them wants one thing, and for some reason or another, part of them wants the exact opposite.

For this situation, ther are many things I might take into consideration. But ALWAYS on the list are the following two:

1. Integrate the conflicting parts. Lucky for me, I have a great technique for this. It is in the consultation that I call “Feng Shui Your Mindset” on my website. It is about re-aligning your thought patterns so that they are going in one direction. Depending on the situation, this usually takes around 3 to 6 hours via the telephone (yes – that’s all!) I have a laser-focused technique that gets every “part” on the same page using neuro-linguistic repatterning and other subconscious “mind reboot” strategies.

If this sounds hard to believe, well – that just may be an unresourceful thought FOR YOU!

2. Look at the Skills and Knowledge and Family guas of the bagua. That is the front left-hand and left side (respectively) of the home or room from coming in the door. ANY confusion there may trigger these thoughts and feelings. It may be clutter, poor symbols leaking chi (big windows, door to door relationship, etc.) or even an element imbalance problem (skills and knowledge gua is governed by earth element and the family gua’s element is wood.)

Working on the skills and knowledge gua can help with the decision-making part (ie: “a part of me wants to do the feng shui your mindset program and a part doesn’t!”) and working on the family gua can help to snip the tether to the past (ie: “My mom said I wasn’t good enough.”) so you can move powerfully into ONE DIRECTION in your future.

If this seems like a level 2 conversation and you are only level 1 or a beginner, review my book or some of the other blog posts here to familiarize yourself with how to do simple changes to change your life!

The post Feng Shui Tips to WANT TO Want Something Else appeared first on Karen Rauch Carter.

“My family pigeon-holes me into someone I’m not anymore.” OR “My old classmates still think of me as a dweeb.” – Work the FAME AND REPUTATION GUA fire and light cures with the intention of allowing the universe to show you respect and know who you really are now! You can also dress powerfully by either hiding red on you or wearing red (preferably on top half of body) with the intention of always maintaining your fire energy and being seen in the best light (and possibly for a little protection!)

“My family just never seems to get along or actually have fun at these events. All they do is dredge up the past like it is a current event.” – Place a specific cure in the FAMILY GUA with the intention of cutting negative thought ties to the past, so the family can live in the present moment. Use the last gathering/reunion photo in a wooden frame if you have it or simply place something green, a symbol, or a living plant there with the same intention! You can also employ the helpful people box in the HELPFUL PEOPLE GUA with the names of the family members that promote the negative behavior. And as long as we’re using the family and helpful people gua, you might as well do a three harmonies cure and get the RELATIONSHIP GUA involved. When you have all three balancing each other here with the same intention, you have increased your chi power tremendously! A little love goes a long way to complete this cure!

“My family/friends/classmates haven’t seen me in a long time. I want them to remember me fondly until the next time we meet, so I want everything to go great during the event.” – Let’s try a yin cure for this one. Each day for nine days prior to the event, write down how the whole evening goes, making sure everyone who sees you in your “dream diary” comments on how great you look, and how much fun you are to hang out with at the event (or add whatever exactly you want them to think about you.) Write down the quotes of what they say, and the quotes of what you say in return as if you are remembering the event word for word. Write at least one page per day. You can also employ the above FAME AND REPUTATION GUA techniques as well.

And finally, you can place a calming or meditative symbol in your HEALTH GUA with the intention of simply removing your own sense of stress over the event and not buying into the illusion that there is something to stress out over.
Have fun!

The post Holiday Help! – Avoiding Stress at Family Gatherings appeared first on Karen Rauch Carter.

A while back, my good friend Lanis in Tampa was kind enough to write me and tell me what she did for her daughter who had to clock some serious hospital time during her lymphoma treatment, so I thought I’d just pass it along as I think it is excellent information (her daughter is still cancer free now!!)

Lanis has studied my book and others, and has come up with quite a bag of cures. A literal bag mind you. She calls it her “spirit bag.” It is a very brightly colored bag with sketches of people dancing in colorful fiesta type clothing, and has words written on it in gold that says “pure love, heal hearts, embrace spirit.” across the top and both sides. She calls it her “bag of intentions.”

In it she places: 1. Two sets of octagonal shapes of construction paper in all the colors of the bagua with the appropriate bagua number on them. One set to go around the room and one set for under the mattress.

2. A small silver box with a health affirmation inside written in the present tense. (Her silver box has the Chinese calligraphy for happiness on it!)

3. A bag of sea salt, bowl, and distilled water with the word “Peace” written on the label. She uses the bowl of salt water under the bed and changes if frequently to absorb any negative energies.

4. Red tape / ribbon to stop any energy leaks on the plumbing drainage pipes of any hospital room.

5. A large octagonal-shaped piece of yellow construction paper inside a zip lock bag to place over the hospital toilets that do not have lids. (She discards the bag when checking out of the hospital and places the paper in a new bag for future use.)

6. A smaller red octagon in a ziplock for the shower drain.

7. A blue cloth to shroud the TV.

8. A poster of rainbow hearts and positive affirmations about feeling healthy, safe, happy, loving, etc. It also has a place for friends and loved ones to write down their own notes of love. The poster also contains a picture of her daughter when she is healthy and happy. (I’d say to “treasure map” whatever seems appropriate here for you. Hang this over any hospital art – especially if it is a downer message – as in her case, the hospital had a poster that said “Are you in pain?” on it.)

9. An aroma therapy infuser and pure lavender essential oil (which is what her daughter loves to smell. There’s room for personal creativity here!)

10. Wind chimes (usually hung in the fame and reputation area of the room because it is usually a window and she wants to redirect the chi to stay in the room.)

11.Clown finger puppets and other “Patch Adams” stuff for the creativity and children gua of the room (you can be creative here with what suits you!)

12. Healing music CD’s and a CD player.

13. Portable CD player for meditation CD’s and music.

14. Pure water for drinking labeled with words like Love and Appreciation, Beautiful, etc.(If you read Power Versus Force you’ll know why.)

15. A copy of Move Your Stuff, Change Your Life, Power Versus Force, and The Eye of I (Hawkins’ “second” book.)

16. Red Fabric to place at head rail of metal hospital bed – especially if it is in the Family gua of the room.

17.Beautiful linen fabric (usually napkins and lightweight placemats) to place over poison arrow corners of furniture.

And these are the things she takes that are not in the bag: 1. Fresh yellow flowers in a terra cotta container placed on rolling hospital table which winds up in the center of the room.

2. A pair of fresh pink flowers for the relationship zone.

3. A small fresh bouquet of flowers for the bathroom vanity.

4. Luxurious sheets and blankets and pillows

5. Any funny people – for comic relief.

6. Heartfelt mother devotion and love that she attaches to everything in that room.

We also spoke and were talking about Dr. Emoto’s water experiments and Dr. David Hawkins’ book Power Versus Force S and we decided to try visualizing her daughter in a bubble that was made up of tiny “600′s” (the vibratory level that results in instant physical healing according to David Hawkins.) Lansi also decided to make up a comfy T shirt for her daughter to wear with “#600″ on it and the word “perfect peace” written in gold.

Move Over Chemotherapy – CHI THERAPY RULES!

The post How to Feng Shui a Hospital Room appeared first on Karen Rauch Carter.

It’s official! I’ve got a teenager! I just saw this on his door and had to share. This is definitely a keeper picture for when he has kids, right? How cute!

Ya just gotta love the many stages of life. As much as parents freak out when kids grow and “rebel,” this type of “claiming space” is precisely what is needed when a 13-year-old is trying to find himself, etc. This is teen feng shui in the making.

So, as much as it might seem hurtful to parents on one end, know that it is entirely appropriate on another. I know I’m in for some challenges ahead, but change is what life is all about, right?

Note to self: Look up penmanship classes for teens…

The post A Sign of the Teen Times appeared first on Karen Rauch Carter.

It all depends on what is around it!

Question: I just read your book and am now rethinking my decor ideas.  I was just getting ready to hang a red curtain in my guest bathroom that falls in the Creativity and Children Gua, and white blinds in a window in the Family Gua window. What would you say to this?

Answer: If you only knew how many questions I get like this! The answer is: it depends.  Color is one of the MANY items you can use to cure a space, that is true. But unless EVERY SINGLE thing in the room is that same color (I hope not!) then you’ve got some aspects of other elements nearby as well.  There is also the “cover your butt” cure in my book that you might want to review. It states that if you don’t know if you’ve got too much of one element or not enough of another, then put some of every element there with good intentions and it will balance itself out! As a matter of fact, I would say to consider the shape of the item first, then it’s construction material, and then its color to decide what element it is if you are looking at these items from a 5 element perspective.

So, can your particular bathroom handle a red curtain – maybe! It depends. Sometimes red can be used in the Fame and Reputation Gua of THAT ROOM and there you go! Or perhaps everything is all dark blue or some other dark color (which would be considered water element with a downward flow), then perhaps a little upward moving fire element in the red curtain would be helpful.. One would really have to know the context of the particular item to have an opinion.

So, there you have it. Depending on the context, that one red curtain could be bad, could be good, could be neutral…it all depends. That’s why I do live and  telephone consultations (where people send me pictures and floor plans ) – it’s because I need to see what’s around each item and how it all works together.

Nothing is inherently good or bad feng shui. It just depends on where it is and what’s around it.

The post The Wrong Color for a Part of the Bagua – Q and A appeared first on Karen Rauch Carter.

Answer: Water running out of the pipe’s control in a house can mimic emotions running out of control with the people (or even one person) living in the house, so I would start to investigate if anything particular has happened in someone’s life that may have caused an emotional upheaval. The classic cause and effect situation for this is grief. If someone is grieving over a loss (can be a person, pet, job, marriage, friendship, etc.) it can trigger an energy that translates into “the house crying,” or, the water element “out of it’s banks.”

Perhaps an enhancement in the family and friends gua (wood element, green, photos of family and friends, etc.) with intentions of creating emotional harmony within could be helpful. If that doesn’t feel appropriate, perhaps an enhancement in the skills and knowledge gua with the intention of gaining insight as to how to harmonize your emotions and feelings may do the trick.

When my father unexpectedly died, the pipes in my mother’s house hammered and clanked violently for about two days. I remember asking my mom if this was normal (I live out of town and didn’t know if this had been going on for a while or what) and everyone else in the family said “NO!” at the same time. Perhaps that’s what happens when the plumbing is strong, but there is overwhelming grief and tears suddenly in a house. And in my mom’s case, as oddly as it started, it went away on it’s own. So I would do a little internal investigation on what feels like a loss and see if anything can be done to alleviate that mental or emotional condition.

(If you are familiar with “tapping,” or Emotional Release Techniques, that may be one way to help fears and other emotional upheaval.)

I have also seen many sudden leaks or pipe breaks as a type of “clean up” due to the introduction of a lot of feng shui intention for a revitalized and energized home. In this circumstance, the home literally breaks at the weakest links all at once. And as much as it appears to be a bad thing when it is happening, it is actually a good thing in the end because the house literally gives up its weaknesses all at once. And once they are fixed, it retains a much stronger hold on the good or vital chi that you have intended to hold for a much longer time.

So, if you have recently powered up your home with lots of good intentions or have found yourself in a grieving state of mind, your house may have had the need to “relieve itself.”

The post Pipes Breaking Frequently & Emotional Harmony appeared first on Karen Rauch Carter.

It's my vase and I'll do whatever I want with it!

A friend of mine had a “game night” party Friday night and decided to “re-gift” some items from around her house as door prizes.  I ended up with the flower vase with goldfish on it.

Last night, I got an email from her asking if she could “borrow” MY vase for a while because the friend who gave it to her was coming over to visit and actually asked her where she placed the vase in her house – and now, she’s feeling GUILTY and freaking out because she gave it away.

I’ve heard this more than once about people who are AFRAID to get rid of stuff they don’t love, want, or need because the person who gave it to them is so hung up on the gift they gave, they seemingly have to follow it throughout their lives forever!

Here’s my take on gift giving:

1. It’s nice to be thoughtful enough to give a gift. It’s not nice to make your friend or family member feel guilty about keeping it or afraid to throw it away.

2. If you feel the need to keep track of the gifts you give, and you take it personally if someone lets go of something you thought they would treasure, then reconsider what’s really going on. Perhaps you base your worth, taste, or status, etc. on your gifts, and it really has nothing to do with being generous or with the other person! I’d say it is more of a control issue, and should be dealt with as such.

From now on I’m officially declaring it RUDE to ask a person what they did with the gift you gave them, or ask them where it is when you go to their house! If you gave it to them, it is theirs – which means, they can do whatever they want with it – including giving it or throwing it away!

Spread the word!

The post Are You Too Attatched to the Gifts You Give? appeared first on Karen Rauch Carter.

QUESTION: I’m in a funk. I feel moody, unsure of my financial future, and quite frankly guilty about celebrating anything, let alone Valentine’s day….. Is there something I can do to my home to help me climb out of this funk?

ANSWER:Now here’s a question that I can sink my teeth into! Let’s do something concrete to counterbalance an uncomfortable feeling that you can’t quite grasp.

Feelings of sadness, guilt and depression are usually spawned from thwarted expectations, and from unconscious beliefs that you may have that you are not even aware you’ve got. You expect things to go one way, and they go another…..you want this to happen; and that happened. When you look at this way of being, it becomes obvious that you are not centered in the now, but are trapped in past or future thinking. I usually attach this problem from many angles – most notably, from a mindset-makeover perspective, and from a traditional feng shui perspective. The “mindset makeover” is my way of describing a protocol that I put my clients through when they can’t see their way out of a problem They are very set, or stuck in their thinking , and that thinking is actually stopping them from something that they desperately want in life. (see the link below for more info.)

Now to the traditional feng shui treatment. Where is the past and future dealt with in feng shui? It is dealt with in the Family (half way back on the left side of a room or the home) and Creativity and Children guas.(half way back on the right.) Here’s my concrete feng shui advice to help sort out and address these feelings.

1. Check for imbalances in the wood and metal elements in your home – especially in the family and creativity guas. As you scan the room, see if you can find all 5 elements and see if they all balanced. Think about the materials the furniture and accessories are made of as well as the colors and shapes of things. Mentally (or physically!) label them and make a tally of what the room needs. Scan each room for added power. Then go about shifting items to bring about balance of all five elements – especially in these two guas. If there is more of one element in these guas, make sure that is it more wood in Family and more metal in Creativity.

2. Check for sad, still, and lonely art and symbols in your home. Sometimes it is best to have a friend come in and look at your stuff with their critical eye because it is so hard to objectively look at your old stuff in a new way. Remove any items that feel or appear not to lift up the space but rather bring it down….a weeping willow on a foggy lake, a portrait of a smile-less person….whatever seems like a downer to you or your friend. Either remove them for good (my preference) or give them away temporarily until you have a better handle on your emotions if you can’t part with them at this time. Be on the look out for stillness in main rooms in the home and possibly add a moving object or a living object to counterbalance this situation. It is amazing what a fresh lively plant or a little table fountain can do in this situation.

3. Check lighting levels…..especially at this time of year when sunlight is so short (if you are in the northern hemisphere.) It may help at this time to seek additional lighting, wattage, or change lighting levels to full spectrum lighting. Remember, light is a traditional cure that can shift ch’i anywhere – no knowledge of guas needed!

4. Create a “centering” space – hopefully somewhere in the heart or near the center of the home. Place objects and furnishings there that totally nurture you and make you feel cared for. Make it feel sacred to you so you feel special when there. If there is no space, create a treasure map/vision board by cutting out pictures and words from magazines, etc. and paste them on a board in a very mindful manner. Then hang this in a place that is rather private (just inside your walk-in closet, or where you get dressed in the morning) for you to enjoy and remind yourself of that which brings you joy.

And if you are not seeing results with the above changes:

5. Have a professional dowser or feng shui consultant check for unhealthy geopathic stress – the earth energy that is not conducive to a healthy, balanced living space.

6. If you’d like me to unleash everything I’ve got to shift your mind, body, spirit and your environment on you, feel free to click here.. When you’re done with me, you’ll see life in a whole new way – I guarantee it.

7. Don’t forget the medical mundane cure. If you have done as much with your home as you can and still do not feel you have appropriate results, seek professional medical and mental health expertise. Medical attention may be part of the key for you to find balance within.

The post Valentine Schmalentine – Feng Shui Help for the “Down-in-the-Dumps” appeared first on Karen Rauch Carter.

Get the family together in one picture frame in the family gua for support

QUESTION: My grandmother-in-law lives with us. And because of that, my mother-in-law is at our house a lot as well. I’m a stay-at-home mom / daycare provider for Granny, with two beautiful kids. My question is: Is there some way to define private space in my home? I feel like I live in a hotel with the lobby open to whomever wants to walk in. I feel guilty asking for private time and space because when my mother-in-law comes over she is helping with Granny.

ANSWER: It sounds like there are several things at play here so I’ll try to get right to it. The right/need for personal space is vital, just as un-cluttered space is vital to your energy. If you do not perceive that you have any space, situations in your life will probably show up as stifled and stuck. Start by creating a small alcove – even if it is four square feet in a corner of a room. Claim it by adding personal items that make you feel good (a sitting pillow and perhaps a small stool as a tiny table to hold things) Cover up this space  with a lovely piece of fabric to say “For my eyes only” when not in use if it attracts others or the kids to it. Set the intention for personal space.

I might also check the fame and reputation gua to make sure it is well balanced. This gua can help gain you respect – in case no one respects your need for this space. Add a simple fire element (like a candle) in the fame and reputation gua with intention if the need arises.

My next suggestion would be to enhance the family gua, but first I want to explain a “traditional” way of enhancing the home. There is a tool in feng shui called Three Harmonies. It is a way of balancing a gua by enhancing its matching angle points. For example, if you want to enhance the family gua, you would also take a look at and enhance the Relationships and Helpful People guas.  (Click here for more info on the bagua.)

The other possible combinations are: 1) Prosperity, Creativity/Children, and Skills and Knowledge 2) Fame, Helpful People, and Skills and Knowledge 3) Career, Prosperity, and Relationships. These three guas are connected in a kind of balancing way on the bagua and therefore they can be used together as one major cure.

So, if you got that, take a look at the family gua. Perhaps you could get a photo of the whole family; granny, mom-in-law and your immediate family inside one (wooden)frame and place it place it in the family gua. Then go to the Relationships gua and strengthen it by making sure there is a dab of pink, yellow, something earth element, or a nice “pair of something” there. This may ease strained communications if  “a talk” needs to happen with family members. And finally, for Helpful People, definitely create a Helpful People box (any silver or gray box with a lid will do – if desperate, use aluminum foil) and place it in the Helpful People gua with the names of at least Granny and mom-in-law in there for sure.

The post No Place to Call Your Own? Feng Shui Q and A appeared first on Karen Rauch Carter.