“My family pigeon-holes me into someone I’m not anymore.” OR “My old classmates still think of me as a dweeb.” – Work the FAME AND REPUTATION GUA fire and light cures with the intention of allowing the universe to show you respect and know who you really are now! You can also dress powerfully by either hiding red on you or wearing red (preferably on top half of body) with the intention of always maintaining your fire energy and being seen in the best light (and possibly for a little protection!)

“My family just never seems to get along or actually have fun at these events. All they do is dredge up the past like it is a current event.” – Place a specific cure in the FAMILY GUA with the intention of cutting negative thought ties to the past, so the family can live in the present moment. Use the last gathering/reunion photo in a wooden frame if you have it or simply place something green, a symbol, or a living plant there with the same intention! You can also employ the helpful people box in the HELPFUL PEOPLE GUA with the names of the family members that promote the negative behavior. And as long as we’re using the family and helpful people gua, you might as well do a three harmonies cure and get the RELATIONSHIP GUA involved. When you have all three balancing each other here with the same intention, you have increased your chi power tremendously! A little love goes a long way to complete this cure!

“My family/friends/classmates haven’t seen me in a long time. I want them to remember me fondly until the next time we meet, so I want everything to go great during the event.” – Let’s try a yin cure for this one. Each day for nine days prior to the event, write down how the whole evening goes, making sure everyone who sees you in your “dream diary” comments on how great you look, and how much fun you are to hang out with at the event (or add whatever exactly you want them to think about you.) Write down the quotes of what they say, and the quotes of what you say in return as if you are remembering the event word for word. Write at least one page per day. You can also employ the above FAME AND REPUTATION GUA techniques as well.

And finally, you can place a calming or meditative symbol in your HEALTH GUA with the intention of simply removing your own sense of stress over the event and not buying into the illusion that there is something to stress out over.
Have fun!

#1 Remove anything that does not support love/passion and health/rest. If your bedroom looks more like an office or multi-purpose room, your environment is working against you. If you want to go the extra mile with feng shui, try to get a good balance of the five elements in there as well.

#2 If you are looking for a major change, then stretch yourself and make major decor changes within the bedroom. In other words, “Don’t buy the same old comfort zone stuff that will get you the same old love and health-life situations!”

#3 Buy a wooden bed if you have the choice. Metal beds can conduct electrical fields which can be a health concern. Avoid having anything plugged-in near your bed, and especially no electrical blankets (even if they are plugged in but not turned on they can be harmful!), heating pads, or massage pads.

#4 Check the lighting level to see if it is not too harsh (yang) or too dim (yin). Listen for distracting sounds and try to alleviate or remove.

#5 Avoid large living plants or water fountains in the bedroom.

#6 Avoid large mirrors in the room. You should not be able to see yourself reflected in any mirror when in your bed.

#7 Avoid sharp metal within the bedroom (knives, axes, swords, guns, scissors, etc.) Sharp metal near you in bed usually results in “being cut” in life – as in surgeries.

#8 Create a headboard for the bed and place it against the most solid wall in the room  – cure poison arrows or “bed in line with doorway” lines by hanging a crystal between the bed and the negative item.

Don’t settle for a “6″ Bedroom when you can have a 10!!!!!

I finished reading your entire book and cleaning 99.9% of my flat last night. I ached and ached but felt fantastic and went to bed but was suddenly awake 3.39am this morning and have been actively implementing more of your book since. I have put so much energy and time into moving my stuff and will now continue with my life in the same way that feng shui will work quiet miracles around me – and into life. A great big thanks to you for your book – brilliant read. I was disappointed to get to the end. Thanks, Wendy C.

#2 My husband and I felt that the energy in our home wasn’t good, and I stumbled across your book online (which was highly recommended). I just finished reading it and we started “feng shui”-ing the apartment.

Yesterday, while cleaning and moving things around, I stumbled across a brand new foulard scarf (we live in Paris) which was given to my husband as a gift in a bookshop. The problem was that it had “crime scene” written all over it, with crime scene tape design, and I didn’t know what to do with it. My husband suggested that we used it as a dusting rug and, before I had the time to think about it, he was dusting the career section of the apartment. It didn’t feel right to me, however, and I told him that “I don’t want a crime scene in the house,” so he ended up throwing out the scarf and we both forgot about it.

THIS MORNING while I was asleep (dreaming about a thief, by the way), I was awakened by strange noise and my husband talking to a guy. The guy was a thief that broke a window and pretended to be a construction worker. He fled before the police got here. After a few hours with the police (they took fingerprint and blood samples that the guy left behind), my husband just finished taping the window with colorful tape. In the meantime, I have been trying to figure out what objects we might have moved to the wrong place to attract a burglar, when I remembered yesterday’s incident with the scarf. We are still in shock about how fast feng shui works. So, I just wanted to share this story with you and thank you for your book. If the negative changes can occur this quickly, I am really looking forward to all the POSITIVE changes now! N. N.

#3 Watching the video reminded me to clean up some things. I started in the bathroom (helpful people) by shutting the drain in the tub and wrapping red ribbon around the toilet water pipe. I’m going to get some gray towels today which will go nicely. I’ve got a beachside painting which is hanging too high (I generally don’t hang them too high )

Then, I moved back to the prosperity area where I’ve set up my home office in the main living space. I had stacks of paper for work and it was a jumble-dy mess! I sorted through that and am working to get rid of the paper – by scanning, filing and shredding! I also went to get construction paper and put a piece of purple over there with a bag of coins.

Today I got 3 checks for insurance reimbursement for clients. A client who I’d seen earlier this week had their card declined AFTER they left the session. They’ve been avoiding my calls so today I attempted to run the card again and it went through! Not too shabby! I have some other things in the works but that’s an awesome start! Thanks again, Karen, Delee

Answer: To quote Dr. Phil, “How’s it working for you?” My rule is “no one else’s eyes but those who sleep in the bedroom allowed,” and there’s a good reason for it. When there is a sense that “others are watching” – even in the symbols – it kind of kills the “love juju”…and from the sound of things in your relationship department, it’s true for you. The things I see in “successful-relationship bedrooms” do not include deities, meditation altars, work stuff, work-out stuff, single symbols in the art, overly feminine or masculine-looking décor, etc. I also notice that the best bedrooms are usually small to average in size – like 10 by 14 feet at the most! Bedrooms that are bigger than that seem to strain closeness. So, my advice is always, take it out and observe what changes…say, give it three months…then you’ll KNOW and not be just trying to do the right thing by listening to me or simply guessing for yourself.

“Well, last January I had all I could take – I was with a very lazy, narcissistic man who wouldn’t work, and I couldn’t spend another year with him. I bought your book, did some “trailer park Feng Shui” as I call it (which mostly involves felt and construction paper) as well as moved stuff around. I found pictures of children playing and wrote my wish to have children (and to always be child-like with wonder) on the back of it. I decided to move to Tampa and go to a sperm donor for children, which was (and still is) a major desire for myself. I then moved my weight set (round, metal) into my Love and Relationships corner and asked to be strong enough to attract a mate who admired my strengths and was strong enough to take care of himself. Also put some colored felt there. And I jazzed up my Helpful People corner with some sparkly silvery stuff.

BANG! One week later, on February 2nd, I had thrown out the lazy man. My friend at work (a Helpful Person) introduced me to one of her friends, and we got married this year on August 9th. One of the major attractions between us was our desire to have children. Guess I won’t be needing that sperm donor after all! Go figure! And he’s a STRONG MAN – he picks my 200-pound body up like a rag doll. Guess those weights were in the right place! He is kind and gentle and sees me the way I wish I could see myself – strong, intelligent, loyal… he values the qualities that others did not see in me and he treats me like an equal, not as a subordinate.

Thanks again! My new husband and I are moving this week into our apartment – and I have already charted out our feng shui floor plan, and he is helping me plan where to put things!”

Thanks,

Mickey

Now, some of you who that just read that may be thinking “No, don’t put metal weights in the earth-dominated relationship gua – that is the reductive cycle!  It sounds like she could use all the earth she can get in that gua!”

But you see, it worked for her. Why? Because the weights became a symbol of her intentions, and her intentions were so powerful, her thoughts of finding strength in herself and a mate overpowered the fact that the elements were not placed perfectly. And if you remember, symbols are one of the nine traditional cures that will rev up energy in any space you choose.

It’s true we don’t know the whole story of her house and what else may be supporting her in the relationship area, but she obviously succeeded with a symbolic cure even though it is a reductive cycle cure.

This is a great lesson in not getting so flustered about feng shui placement of objects – and simply holding clear intention of what you are intending to create or change with your feng shui cure. I get a lot of emails from petrified people afraid to start feng shuiing for fear of doing something dreadful. I’m here to let you know that it is the fear itself that is the dreadful thing. When you feng shui with a clear heart and mind, you really can’t go wrong.  I have seen people turn around what appeared to be a total feng shui disaster with a different spin with their intentions.

There, there now, doesn’t that feel better? Feng shui is about balancing the vibratory patterns of energy. Think of the feng shui books out there as helpful advice to build upon, and not “the only way to go,” and I think you will find your feng shui efforts paying off big time.

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I have observed that these women have what I refer to in my book as the “Old Mother Hubbard’s Cupboard” syndrome. There is very little food in the house and very little cooking going on in the house even if the kitchen is within the main yang bagua of the house (the kitchen is not sticking out “in front of the front door.”) Their dining room table is usually metal with a glass top and usually has no table cloth on it (“Whats the point, no one eats here!”) The kitchen and dining room feel like/are “dead” as opposed to “living” spaces.

Other observations include: 1. Besides the dining room table, many other pieces of furniture are metal and water in their element – lots of glass, white and metal. 2. There is a lot of metal dominating the other elements (wood, fire, earth and water) in just about every room. Metal element people are usually precise people, and what they have chosen to make precise is usually their bodies in this example. They are fit, trim, and focused on looks and outward appearances (and thus the not-lacking-for-a-date situation.) And often, another observation is they aren’t committed to a particular style or even a color in the house which may be showing up as lack of commitment in life. They’ve got ch’i heading their way, but perhaps it is not the right ch’i if they are looking for a long-lasting relationship.

So, here are my feng shui tips based upon this consistent observation: Create a kitchen and dining area that supports and nurtures the body. Get food in the cupboards. Get more than salt and pepper in your spice collection. Learn how to cook and bake. (Mom didn’t teach you? Guess what? There are lessons out there to take! Consider it an investment in your health as well.) The word companion is derived from a Latin word that means “to break bread” so for goodness sake – and I know this may send you fit and trim folks into a tizzy, but get a few carbs in the house! I really believe it is just as important to balance the kitchen and dining rooms as it is the bedroom to get commitment ch’i, because I’ve seen great romantic feng shuied bedrooms, but without the kitchen and dining room in order, the “long-lasting” part of the wish list just never gets fulfilled.

I’d also look at the closets and drawers in these houses for physical clutter. Sometimes people have perfect looking public rooms, but their “insides” (AKA thoughts, beliefs, fears, guilt, sadness, hurt, etc.) are a mess. If this is also the case, then I would suggest clearing the clutter in these interior spaces and possibly getting a life coach or therapist (check out my Feng Shui Your Mindset Coaching Series if you need it.)

Finally, I would suggest working on the skills and knowledge gua (front, left-hand part of your bedroom or home once you enter the door) with any enhancements you feel are appropriate, especially adding earth element to both the skills and knowledge gua and anywhere else in the house to ground, stabilize, and help support a strong foundation. Now, just as this type of person feels uncomfortable in shopping for and bringing home food, another suggestion I usually make with clients is when shopping for accessories, furniture, or anything for the house is to buy things that they would not normally choose. My theory is this: if you keep up the same shopping patterns with the stuff you bring home, you keep up the same life situation patterns. And with the above looking-for-commitment client, I suggest choosing earth or fire over metal. Buy items that you would have never even taken the time to look at in the store before. It takes discipline, but it can be done (enlist a friend to help if you don’t think you can at first!)

Good luck!

QUESTION: We got a cat in August and I discovered I was allergic to her. I close my bedroom door to keep her out. My bedroom is in the relationship area of my house. How can I keep the ch’i flowing? Is keeping my bedroom door closed closing off any relationships? I’m a single mom and would like to encourage energy into this part of my life. Any thoughts?

ANSWER: Sometimes doors closed makes a big difference in flow of ch’i and sometimes not. So, without personally assessing the situation, here are my suggestions:

First of all, ’d let you know that getting rid of the cat would be “the mundane cure” for this situation! Sometimes people want a cure that is very obscure and transcendental when the quickest path to take is plainly obvious. Allowing something in your home environment that negatively affects your health may be something to look into. Are you putting your children’s love of this animal in front of your personal health? Has this pattern appeared in past relationships? How often do you describe past relationships as “unhealthy?” I’m just trying to get you to be mindful here – don’t spaz out about it. Just notice…

If the cat stays, then take a look at the relationship gua OF EACH ROOM to see if all is well there (you can overlay the bagua on each room just like the whole house using the door to the room to align the bagua). If the relationship gua of the house is sluggish, then perhaps you can offset the imbalance by upgrading the energy in that gua of each room. Remember, if the home isn’t supporting you, then each room can.

Next, concentrate on the bedroom itself. Observe how you’ve set up this space to work for you in regard to gaining a healthy relationship. Avoid an abundance of “single woman art” (one woman within the frame.) Try to get a fair representation of both male and female energies in your room. If the room is very feminine, add something that feels masculine. Does “he” have his own nightstand? Give the future man some space. Clean out half a drawer, half a medicine cabinet, some closet space. Help your room to accommodate “him.”

Chuck any stuff under the bed as well as remove kid stuff, work stuff, household chore stuff, and old relationship stuff from this room. If the room still feels dead or low ch’i, then possible add a chime or other “moving object” traditional cure, or even a splash of a bright color to attract new ch’i and pump up the existing ch’i. Try “igniting romance” by lighting a candle in the room. The more you give attention to your intention, the more you will attract it!