Get the family together in one picture frame in the family gua for support
QUESTION: My grandmother-in-law lives with us. And because of that, my mother-in-law is at our house a lot as well. I’m a stay-at-home mom / daycare provider for Granny, with two beautiful kids. My question is: Is there some way to define private space in my home? I feel like I live in a hotel with the lobby open to whomever wants to walk in. I feel guilty asking for private time and space because when my mother-in-law comes over she is helping with Granny.
ANSWER: It sounds like there are several things at play here so I’ll try to get right to it. The right/need for personal space is vital, just as un-cluttered space is vital to your energy. If you do not perceive that you have any space, situations in your life will probably show up as stifled and stuck. Start by creating a small alcove – even if it is four square feet in a corner of a room. Claim it by adding personal items that make you feel good (a sitting pillow and perhaps a small stool as a tiny table to hold things) Cover up this space with a lovely piece of fabric to say “For my eyes only” when not in use if it attracts others or the kids to it. Set the intention for personal space.
I might also check the fame and reputation gua to make sure it is well balanced. This gua can help gain you respect – in case no one respects your need for this space. Add a simple fire element (like a candle) in the fame and reputation gua with intention if the need arises.
My next suggestion would be to enhance the family gua, but first I want to explain a “traditional” way of enhancing the home. There is a tool in feng shui called Three Harmonies. It is a way of balancing a gua by enhancing its matching angle points. For example, if you want to enhance the family gua, you would also take a look at and enhance the Relationships and Helpful People guas. (Click here for more info on the bagua.)
The other possible combinations are: 1) Prosperity, Creativity/Children, and Skills and Knowledge 2) Fame, Helpful People, and Skills and Knowledge 3) Career, Prosperity, and Relationships. These three guas are connected in a kind of balancing way on the bagua and therefore they can be used together as one major cure.
So, if you got that, take a look at the family gua. Perhaps you could get a photo of the whole family; granny, mom-in-law and your immediate family inside one (wooden)frame and place it place it in the family gua. Then go to the Relationships gua and strengthen it by making sure there is a dab of pink, yellow, something earth element, or a nice “pair of something” there. This may ease strained communications if “a talk” needs to happen with family members. And finally, for Helpful People, definitely create a Helpful People box (any silver or gray box with a lid will do – if desperate, use aluminum foil) and place it in the Helpful People gua with the names of at least Granny and mom-in-law in there for sure.